In this episode, Lian joins me for a coaching call to discuss the challenges she’s facing with her four-year-old son.
Her son has been using swearing to communicate his frustration and big feelings. Lian also shares how his frustration often escalates from mean words to physical aggression.
I give her tips and strategies to help transform her son’s approach and behavior, and we make a plan for Lian and her husband moving forward. Be sure to listen in until the end to hear our check in.
We cover:
- [0:50] What to do if your child uses profanity excessively
- [3:50] How Lian has tried putting limits on this issue so far
- [6:10] Why we can’t ignore troubling behavior
- [10:40] What to do if the behavior isn’t due to lack of attention
- [12:50] The shame we feel as parents when our kids do something humiliating
- [18:10] The ‘good’ vs. ‘bad’ parent dichotomy
- [20:45] Why the naughty behavior hasn’t crossed over into other areas of Lian’s son life
- [23:50] How to handle your kid hitting you
- [30:45] Tips for helping your child empty their emotional backpack
- [36:05] How hard parenting really is on a marriage
- [38:00] Check in with Lian
- [42:15] Tips for empathizing with our kids
- [48:00] Keeping an aggression log
- [56:30] Why we should never ignore a child when they’re upset
Download the episode transcript HERE
Resources mentioned in this episode
- Free ‘How to Stop Yelling’ Course: www.sarahrosensweet.com/yelling
- Book coaching or a free consult: www.sarahrosensweet.com/coaching
- Patreon: www.patreon.com/peacefulparenting
- Playful Parenting by Larry Cohen: https://amzn.to/3Dj49IY
- Raising Human Beings by Ross Greene: https://amzn.to/3yvOgg6
Connect with Sarah Rosensweet
- On Instagram
- On Facebook
- On YouTube
- https://www.sarahrosensweet.com
- Book a short consult or coaching session call
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How To Stop Yelling At Your Kids
Hi Sarah,
I’ve just listened to your episode with Lian: How to Handle Swearing and Hitting, and I felt utterly empathetic towards her.
My son was and still is the same as her son; he is six now. I related so much to the situation where he punched her in the face and when she was trying to get him to school. I spent over two years struggling with this situation, and I still do when he attends his home school each Wednesday (the other four days, he goes to a specialist SEN school which has been our saving grace).
The lemonade bottle metaphor is a good example; we use it at home. I ask him if he is getting fizzy. He can now acknowledge when he is starting to feel this way which is also a fantastic way to start the regulation process. I also have a fairly tight bedtime routine, which starts at 6pm and goes through to 7pm. I give him countdown timers, in 10 mins we are going to do this, in 5 mins we are going to do this… I also use Now and Next and Then language. I also use visual storyboards when we have changes in routine.
Connecting with other parents with similar children has helped me too. I have found that many parents whose children are “normal” have absolutely no idea and tend to look at me with a hidden judgement because I’m a single parent, work full time, have a career, etc.
Anyway, I felt compelled to email as I wanted Lian to know her son is a beautiful, big feeling’d boy and she is a wonderful parent.
Thank you so much for your comment- If Lian sees this I know she will appreciate it! Your son is lucky to have you xx