Are You Winning or Losing?

“Parenting is not like the playoffs. It’s a long game- not won or lost in a moment or a day.” – Sarah Rosensweet

I messed up. 

It’s too late. 

I’m ruining my kids. 

I hear these thoughts from you all the time when you have a bad moment or a bad day.

A parent in my Facebook group shared-

“I’m struggling today big time. Both kids were behaving in ways they know they shouldn’t (colouring on the walls etc). I haven’t been able to fill any of their buckets, because I have nothing in me today. I made sure they’re fed and needs taken care of, but it’s the bare minimum and I know it. I ended up bribing them before quiet time with some of my chocolate, asking them to let me lie down in quiet. I feel like a horrible mom today.”

Everyone has days like this- and it’s okay. She made sure her kids’ basic needs were taken care of. She got through the day.

And the responses from the other parents on the thread? Beautiful. We’ve all been there.

Maybe you’ve said or done things you regret in the past (or today!)- yelled, shamed, withdrawn love. Things you wish you could take back.  

I see how hard you’ve worked and I know you’ve done the best you could.

Maybe you wish you learned these tools earlier. 

You have to forgive yourself for not knowing what you knew before you knew it.

Maybe you’ve held yourself to unattainable standards. 

Your kids just need a ‘good enough’ parent.

This is the biggest lesson I have learned from my clients: The only way we can make the changes we want to make is if we are kind and compassionate with ourselves.

You know that your child needs your understanding and compassion when they are acting out or having a hard time. We understand that they are doing the best they can. We believe in their essential worthiness and we will help them learn and do better next time.

We need to do this for ourselves. 

It’s never too late. This is a long game.

You may have “lost” the game today- but you’ll *never* be out of the playoffs!

Please remind yourself of this when you’re tempted to beat yourself up.