Be the Person You Want Your Kids to Be: Episode 219

In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, Corey and I talk about modeling the person you want your child to be—instead of trying to force them into having good character or good values. We discussed the difference between being a gardener or a carpenter parent, raising kind and helpful children, and how to trust the modeling process. We give lots of examples of what this has looked like for parents in our community as well as in our own homes.

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We talk about:

• 00:00 — Intro + main idea: be the person you want your child to be
• 00:02 — How kids naturally model what we do (funny real-life stories)
• 00:04 — When modeling goes wrong (rabbit poop + shovel story)
• 00:06 — Not everything kids do is learned from us (fight/flight/freeze)
• 00:08 — Gardener vs. carpenter parenting metaphor
• 00:10 — Why “don’t do anything for your child” is flawed advice
• 00:12 — Helping builds independence (adult example + kids stepping up)
• 00:17 — Hunt, Gather, Parent: let kids help when they’re little
• 00:19 — How to encourage helping without power struggles
• 00:23 — Family team vs. rigid chores
• 00:26 — Trust, faith, and “I’m sure you’ll do it next time”
• 00:29 — Respecting kids like people (adultism)
• 00:31 — Living values without preaching
• 00:36 — It’s the small moments that shape kids
• 00:38 — Don’t be a martyr: let some things go
• 00:40 — When this works (and when it doesn’t)
• 00:42 — Closing reflections on trust and nurturing

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Download the episode transcript HERE

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